1247064 comments

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• Comment Link Saturday, 07 June 2025 18:05 posted by Beachgoer Panic Index

  Shark at Galveston only attacks people who quote Joe Rogan mid-swim.
• Comment Link Saturday, 07 June 2025 18:03 posted by latest shark attack news

  South Padre Island shark was caught wearing a foam cowboy hat. “Local culture,” it said.
• Comment Link Saturday, 07 June 2025 18:03 posted by history of shark attacks

  Outer Banks shark bit a guy yelling “Sharks aren’t real!” Poetic justice.
• Comment Link Saturday, 07 June 2025 18:02 posted by Guide To Neutral-Toned Bathing Suits

  At Cape Cod, bite victim shouted “fake news.” Shark took a second nibble.
• Comment Link Saturday, 07 June 2025 18:00 posted by Visit Now

  Shark at Ocean City asked victim, “Do you have a moment to talk about our Lord Poseidon?”
• Comment Link Saturday, 07 June 2025 18:00 posted by shark sightings this summer

  Santa Cruz shark mistook snorkel for vape pen. “So Gen Z,” it sighed.
• Comment Link Saturday, 07 June 2025 18:00 posted by Take A Look

  Santa Monica shark licked a paddleboard for flavor profile.
• Comment Link Saturday, 07 June 2025 17:58 posted by shark bites and climate change

  Shark at Venice Beach refused to bite until someone corrected its pronouns.
• Comment Link Saturday, 07 June 2025 17:58 posted by top shark attack beaches

  Virginia Beach victim says he was attacked for “swimming like a tourist.”